“Dancing with the Stars” selects cast for eleventh season.
Seriously, when the folks at ABC assemble an all-star cast for a dance-o-rama and general gossip-fest, they do not mess around. Clearly, the alchemists and spellbinders at “Dancing with the Stars” worked overtime, giving special considerations to bloggers’ and late-night comedians’ needs, putting together a delectably eclectic, outrageous cast for their eleventh season. Could anyone really have predicted Bristol Palin—yes, that Bristol Palin—appearing on the same stage with an ostensibly sober David Hasselhoff? Tune-in for the dish, and stay for the dancing. The ABC programming pundits may indiscriminately apply the word “star” to people more notorious than famous and to television characters with mouths far bigger than their talents, but they clearly understand the formula for “volatile.”
In the heavy-duty nostalgia division, list Florence Henderson, a Broadway legend who is unfortunately better remembered for her role on television’s insipid “The Partridge Family.” Henderson, now 76, brings a lifetime of dancing experience to the show, so that whatever she lacks in youth she can more than make-up in training and experience. In that same nostalgic league, count Jennifer Grey of Dirty Dancing fame. Grey was a tender 27 when she played teen-aged Baby in the classic film. Applying that same filmic mathematics to DWTS, Grey, 50, ought to dance as though she is no more than 39.
In the jocks division, include Kurt Warner, itinerant NFL quarterback better known for his rugged good looks than his passing statistics. Warner devoted a decade to proving he could run around in “the pocket,” which is almost like dancing, so a few handicappers call him a long shot. Also put Rick Fox on your scorecard. Recently retired from the Los Angeles Lakers, Fox will dwarf many of the other dancers, but handicappers have little data about his strength, grace, or profile in tight trousers.
In the music division, enter Michael Bolton, curly-haired crooner famous for sappy love songs and cascading curly hair behind an incongruous bald spot. Peri-menopausal women still find him attractive. Competing against Bolton in the we-sell-CD’s league, add Brandy, former ‘tween star, who is mounting a comeback in her twenties. Complementing the music division, the television bracket includes Audrina Partridge, Kyle Massey, comedian Margaret Cho, and Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino. Looking over the television “stars,” the majority of college-educated viewers queried, “Who?” Dance experts had similar reactions.
